About Me

I’m just like anyone else, I put my pants on one leg at a time…the only difference is when my pants are on, I make gold records.

My name is Joe Butch and I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls, crushing ice and driving in my Delorean. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I can woo women with my sensuous and godlike clarinet playing, I can cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Brazil.

I am the subject of numerous documentaries. I can swim like a dolphin. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. I once unknowingly offered Michael Jackson a bite of my hot dog. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.

The laws of physics do not apply to me. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.